checking email?

Question by boogers: checking email?
Is it “legal” for a wife and husband to check each other’s email? I let him check mine, but he gets mad when I check his. His work email is always logged on so I can check anytime I want to. Today I just saw that he lied to someone in an email. How can I let him know about this lie without letting him know I’ve read his email?

Best answer:

Answer by Devdude
I think its a bit excessive your you to be up his email butt all the time. Is there a reason you distrust this man? Marriage is built on trust so if you have a reason to NOT trust him you should get that fixed.

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8 Responses to checking email?

  1. Valerie X

    Who are you his mommy???!!

  2. abstract_alao

    Basically there is no trust in your relationship and this will lead to problems in the future. you all need to have a heart to heart.

  3. maya

    i think it best to keep it, don’t tell him just yet, keep reading his email & of course it legal, listen keep diging until you find some serious

    if you let him know now, he might change his password, or log off

  4. Stefka

    Why do you want to check his e-mails? I would say you are having trust issues with him. If he has misused e-mail in the past to do something dishonest within your marriage, I could see wanting to check his e-mails until you are feeling better about the marriage and he should comply with that if he messed up. If he hasn’t messed up and you are just insecure, then I would say leave his e-mails alone. Just because you don’t care if he sees yours doesn’t mean he feels the same. You gave a great example – he didn’t tell the truth to someone (which isn’t right) but he doesn’t want you to know that he isn’t always honest.

    You were out of line, I think. Perhaps you two should get a joint e-mail account for at home. A lot of married couples do this to avoid arguments.

  5. beliz

    Work email you should not be checking. Personal emails if you give each other access why not, but if one of you rejects to reading there email then respect there wishes.

  6. lady31

    Why would you want to check his email. I would NEVER check my husband’s email.

    Has he given you reason to think that he would lie? Why can’t you trust him.

    I don’t even have a password for my email and my husband NEVER reads my email. I would not read his either.

    I have never been in his wallet either.

    There are limits and each person needs privacy.

    What is the difference in your husband lying in an email and you lying to cover up that you read his email?

  7. Kat J

    I dont think its “illegal” to check your hubby’s email.. but why do you feel like you have to??

    I’ve been in relationships like that where I ALWAYS felt the need to not only check the email but also look at the cookies, history and temp internet files b/c there was ZERO trust in the relationship! Of course with good reason… he was a cheater! Thank GOD I got smart and left him! LOL

    But with my husband… I KNOW all his passwords and email accounts… I could get into them at ANY time… but I really dont have any desire to! Every now and then I go through it and clear out all his junk mail (for some reason he doesnt just delete them as they come in and by the time I get to it, theres like over 300 spams!).. but thats about it. Because I COMPLETELY trust him. There is NO REASON for me to even THINK about checking it.

    As far as the “lie” he told in an email. Well.. ALL of us tell little lies from time to time… unless its something that is just HORRIBLE then dont bust his balls over it! So what, he fibbed!?! BIG DEAL! As long as he’s not lying to YOU I wouldnt even worry about it!!

    I think maybe the reason he is getting mad at you when you check his IS NOT because he has something to hide… but because he FEELS the fact that you dont trust him and thats enough to make ANYONE irritated! TRY… just TRY to let him have a little bit of privacy and TRY to trust him.. after all, if you cant then the marriage is going to fail! (Sorry but its true… if theres no trust, theres no marriage!)

  8. ►☼◄

    Here would be my question to you. You say you let him check your e-mail. Does he ask to see them or do you just call him over when you are logged in and say “read this”? There’s a difference if you let him, but you are the instigator in letting him or if he has actually asked. Even if he asked to see, does he read them and then critique you on your e-mails? I realize you are married, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t entitled to some privacy. So what if he lied in his e-mail, it has nothing to do with you (you can’t say you have never lied to anyone can you?). Why not trust your husband enough to stop checking up on him all the time. You have serious trust issues. Me and my husband both have joint and personal e-mail accounts. He has never read mine (he could if he wants to, but he’s never expressed an interest in doing so), and I have never read his. I trust him and he trusts me. So we don’t need to check up on each other.